After that job was over, I was back to square one: job searching. I hate square one. I mentioned in part one how much I hate job hunting. And it's not the job hunting that is awful (okay, well part of it), but the thought of the interview I might get.
I didn't go into many details then on how I felt on the thought of an interview. Being the anxious person I was, I didn't gain many conversational skills. I freeze up being asked questions from people I don't know and tend to give out one word or simple sentence answers. It was short and sweet and I was done talking to the person. Interviews can't be like that. The thought of them just nearly paralyze me and everything on the inside feels like it's forming in knots and I start forgetting to breathe and I find myself constantly taking big gasps of air. This is just the thought of them!
My other problem is not feeling strong enough for the job since I don't have many skills or experience for anything. How was I going to elaborate on experience in an interview when I didn't have any? That's what also made me terrified of the interviews. I would just sit there and not be able to answer anything and look like a complete idiot. I always pictured myself just running out of them because I would get tired of feeling stupid or just too nervous to sit there. Not to mention I would have to be dressed up which forces me even more out of my comfort zone.
To my luck, I received a phone call from a staffing agency and I called them back to set up a time to meet. Yes, it did take some time to get the courage to call back, but I did. I was scheduled to meet by early the next week which to me was not enough preparation time. I didn't know if there was an interview process for these places or not, so I prepared some answers anyway. I literally typed up questions and answers and would memorize them some and make it all flow together as best I could. I was so nervous.
Oddly enough, there were no questions asked. Awesome. I just filled out some paperwork and had to take a test in Microsoft Word. Like I said, my skills were lacking but apparently I did good on it. I wasn't tested in Excel which probably hurt, but I don't think I would've done well at all in it since I hadn't touched it in years. All I had to do was call them every week to see if they had anything available or in some instances they might call you about something. I can do that. Of course I wasn't thinking about the calls at the time. I just wanted out of there as fast as I could.
The next week I had to make my first call. This was a process. I think I spent an hour sitting here thinking about the call and how to form my question. Then I would dial the number and stare at it before hitting "call." My palms were getting pretty sweaty at the time and my heart was starting to race. So, I'd put the phone down, walk around, grab a drink and then try again. Sometimes I did this a few times until I was calmed down and focused enough to make the call.
It's ringing! Better be prepared to ask my question and not mess up. She answers, I ask, she answers my question, end of conversation and hang up. Whew. I felt so relieved after that was over. Now I could enjoy the rest of my day and relax. I did this for a couple months. Some days I would be able to make the call without much a process and sometimes it would be longer. However, I still wasn't getting a job. They never seemed to have anything for me. But then one day, opportunity arises! Click here to continue...
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