I plan to come back and write very soon. Sometimes the best times I can relax and write freely is late at night in which I'm usually always tired or somehow still being distracted. I really can't wait to get my thoughts all organized and write again. I have thought of so many things I want to say lately but sleep keeps getting the best of me.
I've also realized I have to be in the right mood. Which, these days, is harder for me to get to. Because this blog is going to be personal and I want to write about my social anxiety and triggers to it, I have to be in some angry/upset mind frame. A place where all my thoughts of the past come rushing to the front of my brain to where I am almost overwhelmed in thoughts. Sometimes to the point of crying. That is when I can write the best. Being a sensitive person, it doesn't take much to get to those points sometimes!
Other times if I just turn on some slower music I can get to my points too. But I have realized I really can't express myself for this blog when I'm super happy. Since getting my permanent full time job, I have been a lot happier because I'm not stressing and fretting about saving and running out of money. However, there is still plenty that gets on my nerves.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Permanence 5:13 PM
It has been a long, struggling road to get to where I am. At the end of May 2013, I began working at an accounting office temporarily that I was told would last until at least October while they worked with switching over to a new program. Going in knowing zilch about accounting, this was going to be interesting. Of course I was ridiculously nervous. I surprised myself and many others with how quickly I caught on to everything. It was fun and I got the hang of everything I was given to do each month.
Just when I was getting into the groove of things, I was invited to move downstairs to help with their stuff. By doing this, I would get to stay through at least February or March. Well, obviously I wasn't going to say no, plus I got a bigger desk.
I was taught the basics of entering purchase orders and invoices. That was all pretty easy; the only complications being what accounts to put everything to. There's lots I have to ask about since I have not been there as many years as the others and don't know what's going on at what property. Between that and filing (which is never-ending massive amounts of bills), I kept pretty busy, but once I started getting comfortable and working faster, I was running out of work to do. Then I was given a few things I used to do upstairs here and there. But those don't last long either. Before long, I was being shown how to do utility bills. Which of course, come with a ton of new stuff to learn.
Sometimes I sit there and listen to the other ladies talk about this and that and I think to myself, "will I ever learn all of this??" I mean, there is so much that goes on. It's not as easy as I thought of entering the order, the invoice and cutting the check!
Well, in the time all of this learning was going on with me, behind the scenes there was constant chatter of "will I stay or be gone in a couple months?" Most people wanted me to stay, but it wasn't completely up to them. It was brought up to one of the bosses awhile back and he said we'd refigure the staffing situation in March. I never knew if I should get my hopes up or not. Finally the other week, it was brought up to one of the head guys. The lady that wanted to keep me, had to come up with a reasoning behind it. I was really nervous when I heard that it was officially discussed. I put everything into thinking I might not get to stay and be really upset about going back to square one.
Finally yesterday, this head guy was in town and had this awkward exchange with him as I was going to lunch. He asked if anyone had talked to me about becoming permanent. I said that no one has talked to me yet. He then said that I would be and she would sit down and tell me. I found that kind of funny for some reason because it was so awkward and he said it in front of a handful of people. So, at the end of the day, I was pulled into an office and told the good news that I would be a permanent member. I was finally relieved and she mentioned that I've been doing a really good job.
I don't know why, but that took a ton of stress and worry off my chest. Being temporary, I never felt like I belonged or had any official work. I was just there "helping" people. The only thing I somehow had was a name to my phone. I mean, my email was even generic and I hated emailing people because they probably wondered who this random accounts-payables person is! Same with calling them because they didn't know who I was! So I feel much better about that now. I'm a person within the company now!
After I met privately with the lady, she announced it to everyone downstairs and they all clapped and congratulated me. It made me really happy and I had this smile stuck to my face the rest of the time I was there.
I know now that I will eventually be shown how to do more and more until I can eventually do the whole process of a property myself - from entering the order, the invoice, the utilities, getting billing questions answered, writing the checks and mailing them off. It's a lot to do, but I'm excited to learn. It will be a long learning process. Luckily I love to learn!! Definitely will be a long road until I'm completely comfortable doing everything.
Just when I was getting into the groove of things, I was invited to move downstairs to help with their stuff. By doing this, I would get to stay through at least February or March. Well, obviously I wasn't going to say no, plus I got a bigger desk.
I was taught the basics of entering purchase orders and invoices. That was all pretty easy; the only complications being what accounts to put everything to. There's lots I have to ask about since I have not been there as many years as the others and don't know what's going on at what property. Between that and filing (which is never-ending massive amounts of bills), I kept pretty busy, but once I started getting comfortable and working faster, I was running out of work to do. Then I was given a few things I used to do upstairs here and there. But those don't last long either. Before long, I was being shown how to do utility bills. Which of course, come with a ton of new stuff to learn.
Sometimes I sit there and listen to the other ladies talk about this and that and I think to myself, "will I ever learn all of this??" I mean, there is so much that goes on. It's not as easy as I thought of entering the order, the invoice and cutting the check!
Well, in the time all of this learning was going on with me, behind the scenes there was constant chatter of "will I stay or be gone in a couple months?" Most people wanted me to stay, but it wasn't completely up to them. It was brought up to one of the bosses awhile back and he said we'd refigure the staffing situation in March. I never knew if I should get my hopes up or not. Finally the other week, it was brought up to one of the head guys. The lady that wanted to keep me, had to come up with a reasoning behind it. I was really nervous when I heard that it was officially discussed. I put everything into thinking I might not get to stay and be really upset about going back to square one.
Finally yesterday, this head guy was in town and had this awkward exchange with him as I was going to lunch. He asked if anyone had talked to me about becoming permanent. I said that no one has talked to me yet. He then said that I would be and she would sit down and tell me. I found that kind of funny for some reason because it was so awkward and he said it in front of a handful of people. So, at the end of the day, I was pulled into an office and told the good news that I would be a permanent member. I was finally relieved and she mentioned that I've been doing a really good job.
I don't know why, but that took a ton of stress and worry off my chest. Being temporary, I never felt like I belonged or had any official work. I was just there "helping" people. The only thing I somehow had was a name to my phone. I mean, my email was even generic and I hated emailing people because they probably wondered who this random accounts-payables person is! Same with calling them because they didn't know who I was! So I feel much better about that now. I'm a person within the company now!
After I met privately with the lady, she announced it to everyone downstairs and they all clapped and congratulated me. It made me really happy and I had this smile stuck to my face the rest of the time I was there.
I know now that I will eventually be shown how to do more and more until I can eventually do the whole process of a property myself - from entering the order, the invoice, the utilities, getting billing questions answered, writing the checks and mailing them off. It's a lot to do, but I'm excited to learn. It will be a long learning process. Luckily I love to learn!! Definitely will be a long road until I'm completely comfortable doing everything.