Shortly after I gave up on the temp agency, we had a family game night with some extended family. One of the ladies mentioned that her husband could help me with my resume and applying to some jobs. My social anxiety is so bad, that I can't ever get words out to speak to these people. This was my chance and I was getting yelled at if I didn't call him up.
There's that scary "call" word again. Of course I paced around before I made that call too but after I did we scheduled a time to meet up at his house. I dreaded this more than anything because I would have to talk and I was scared because he has barely ever heard me speak before. What if I make a complete idiot out of myself??
Monday, October 21, 2013
The Working Life - Part 4 continued 3:34 PM
(continued from here)
They told me about a job opportunity that would be temp-to hire possibly. Sweet! She said it would be doing follow up phone calls. I didn't have a lot of information about the job, but that didn't sound too hard. I agreed to it and she said there would be a phone interview. Immediately I began to panic. I couldn't back out now. I had the option of doing the interview that afternoon or the next day. Well I certainly wasn't mentally able to do it that afternoon. I had to do some research and prepare questions and answers. She told me some that they might ask which helped a great deal.
They told me about a job opportunity that would be temp-to hire possibly. Sweet! She said it would be doing follow up phone calls. I didn't have a lot of information about the job, but that didn't sound too hard. I agreed to it and she said there would be a phone interview. Immediately I began to panic. I couldn't back out now. I had the option of doing the interview that afternoon or the next day. Well I certainly wasn't mentally able to do it that afternoon. I had to do some research and prepare questions and answers. She told me some that they might ask which helped a great deal.
The Working Life - Part 4 3:32 PM
After that job was over, I was back to square one: job searching. I hate square one. I mentioned in part one how much I hate job hunting. And it's not the job hunting that is awful (okay, well part of it), but the thought of the interview I might get.
I didn't go into many details then on how I felt on the thought of an interview. Being the anxious person I was, I didn't gain many conversational skills. I freeze up being asked questions from people I don't know and tend to give out one word or simple sentence answers. It was short and sweet and I was done talking to the person. Interviews can't be like that. The thought of them just nearly paralyze me and everything on the inside feels like it's forming in knots and I start forgetting to breathe and I find myself constantly taking big gasps of air. This is just the thought of them!
I didn't go into many details then on how I felt on the thought of an interview. Being the anxious person I was, I didn't gain many conversational skills. I freeze up being asked questions from people I don't know and tend to give out one word or simple sentence answers. It was short and sweet and I was done talking to the person. Interviews can't be like that. The thought of them just nearly paralyze me and everything on the inside feels like it's forming in knots and I start forgetting to breathe and I find myself constantly taking big gasps of air. This is just the thought of them!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
The Working Life - Part 3 4:52 PM
After returning home from Texas, I wasted no time heading to the place I was supposed to get transferred to. I talked to one of the managers there about it and handed in my application. I think this was sometime near the end of July.
Well I never heard anything back until the end of September. I was completely surprised as I had nearly forgotten all about it. I called them back and set up an interview time. It was nice that this one didn't take place in the middle of the store. The manager seemed extremely nice! We mainly just talked about the differences between their store and the one in Texas. It was pretty funny and I knew this would be good.
Well I never heard anything back until the end of September. I was completely surprised as I had nearly forgotten all about it. I called them back and set up an interview time. It was nice that this one didn't take place in the middle of the store. The manager seemed extremely nice! We mainly just talked about the differences between their store and the one in Texas. It was pretty funny and I knew this would be good.
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
The Working Life - Part 2 continued 4:51 PM
(continued from here)
Halfway through my time working here things just got worse for me. I typically got around 20-30 hours a week and a lot of days were 6-8 hours. After some time I was only getting around 10-20 working a couple days a week. I know at one point they were cutting lots of shifts and I'd get calls about not having to come into work. Found out other people got that too, so I was cool. There were also these stupid "on-call" shifts where you had to call in to see if you had to work. I really hated those. I was always very nervous about calling in. They usually used me 50% of the time. Depended on how busy they were a lot of times.
I don't remember when, but one day the manager pulled me aside to a couch somewhere in the store to talk with me. This is when things came crashing down. Her first statement was, "Have you noticed your hours lately?" By this, she was asking if I've noticed that I have less hours than everyone. I knew exactly where this conversation was going and I knew it wasn't going to be good. Well, of course I've noticed. I was getting 8-12 hours or something a week by this point. She always asked how I was doing and I said fine. I was handling my main duties just as well as anyone else except being more quiet.
Halfway through my time working here things just got worse for me. I typically got around 20-30 hours a week and a lot of days were 6-8 hours. After some time I was only getting around 10-20 working a couple days a week. I know at one point they were cutting lots of shifts and I'd get calls about not having to come into work. Found out other people got that too, so I was cool. There were also these stupid "on-call" shifts where you had to call in to see if you had to work. I really hated those. I was always very nervous about calling in. They usually used me 50% of the time. Depended on how busy they were a lot of times.
I don't remember when, but one day the manager pulled me aside to a couch somewhere in the store to talk with me. This is when things came crashing down. Her first statement was, "Have you noticed your hours lately?" By this, she was asking if I've noticed that I have less hours than everyone. I knew exactly where this conversation was going and I knew it wasn't going to be good. Well, of course I've noticed. I was getting 8-12 hours or something a week by this point. She always asked how I was doing and I said fine. I was handling my main duties just as well as anyone else except being more quiet.
The Working Life - Part 2 4:01 PM
After the Census job, I was still terrified of finding a job. I needed money for loans badly. I had no experience with much of anything except some slight knowledge of web design. I wasn't great at it, but I could put some basic pages together to advertise a small business or something. It wasn't something I was trying to find a job in by any means because I didn't feel good enough.
So, I spent the summer of 2011 designing a web site and logo for a friend of my cousin. I didn't mind it and it freshened up some of my lost CSS and HTML skills but I knew I didn't want a career in this. She did pay me for the work, but overall I had a jobless summer.
So, I spent the summer of 2011 designing a web site and logo for a friend of my cousin. I didn't mind it and it freshened up some of my lost CSS and HTML skills but I knew I didn't want a career in this. She did pay me for the work, but overall I had a jobless summer.
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
The Working Life - Part 1 4:53 PM
I have always been terrified to get a job. Not because I wouldn't be able to do the job, but because the thought of the interview is terrifying. This is the reason I do not have a permanent job yet.
I put my foot in the door in 2010 when I saw an ad for the 2010 Census. All you had to do was pass a test and you were in. However, you had to call first to find out testing info. I don't know what's worse, a job interview or calling up someone on a phone. I someone made it through the phone call and went and took the test with about 20 others one day. I didn't get a great score and figured I wasn't going to make it, which was fine because doing house-to-house interviews was not my cup of tea. After a couple weeks, I received a phone call saying I got the job. I was very excited but then I heard about training and my nerves kicked right back in.
I put my foot in the door in 2010 when I saw an ad for the 2010 Census. All you had to do was pass a test and you were in. However, you had to call first to find out testing info. I don't know what's worse, a job interview or calling up someone on a phone. I someone made it through the phone call and went and took the test with about 20 others one day. I didn't get a great score and figured I wasn't going to make it, which was fine because doing house-to-house interviews was not my cup of tea. After a couple weeks, I received a phone call saying I got the job. I was very excited but then I heard about training and my nerves kicked right back in.