Today at work, I did one of the scariest things: made a phone call. I wrote in one of my working life posts about my horrible fear of phones. You would think that face-to-face is worse, but phones are just awkward.
Yesterday all the properties sent over their purchase orders in which it has been made my job to get them all entered. With each property, they send over a log that divides each one out to whatever category it belongs and you check it off when entered. I was handed them and told one of them was missing the log and would have to call them or something. All I had to do was hear the word "call" to send me into instant panic and anxiety. What do I say, how do I ask for it, who do I even talk to??? Or worse, what if I mess up my words and sound like the biggest idiot? It was a simple request: can you fax over your PO log?
So much to worry about. My days weren't going to be enjoyable until I get this over with. My mom had mentioned to just send them an email. Of course that's the easy thing to do, and probably more practical for numerous questions. Besides, I don't have a name to my email since I'm temp, so they might think it's junk or "who the heck is this person?" Email was not going to happen, even though I did type it up, but never sent it.
Next option was to chicken out and ask the lady who deals with this property about it and hope maybe she would make the call. Obviously I can't have everyone make calls for me, although they understand and know the people much better than I do. I don't want to look like someone avoiding the phones.
Last option was to make the call myself. I put their PO's on the bottom of my stack so I could think while I worked on all the other properties and then take action when I got closer to it. Well, I was happy to make it through Monday without having to call anyone. Maybe a miracle would happen the next day and the PO log would be on my desk.
That didn't happen. I knew I was going to have to call at some point. I was so nervous. I didn't want anyone to hear me make this call in case I screwed up and sounded stupid and got some lecture about talking on the phone or something. To my luck, everyone was gone at the same time for lunch and it was just me. It was getting to the point when people would start coming back so I needed to take action soon. I was so nervous. I sat for 5 minutes planning out what to say.
Then this other lady came over from the back room to make copies. Crap. I can't call with her standing right by my desk. She was not hurrying with those copies either! Finally she left and it was do or die for me! I scrolled to the property in the phone and stared at it for a second, took a deep breath, and picked up the phone. It was ringing. Last chance to hurry and organize my words.
I didn't even know the name of who I was supposed to talk to. So whoever answered, I said my little line. Apparently it wasn't the right person, but that's okay. I was put on hold and hoping it would hurry before everyone returned. Last chance to organize my thoughts! I managed to get my request out to the manager with only a slight odd moment. Next thing you know, I had the fax of the PO log I needed! My hands were shaking so much for about 5 minutes after that call and my face felt like it was on fire. But I felt so good about it even though it was scary!
Sometimes, getting that first call at your job out of the way helps for future ones. It was a basic call, but I think I did alright. The more I do, the more comfortable and better I will get at it to where I won't mind it at all. Sometimes I just get this feeling since I'm the "quiet person" that making a call would draw attention like "omg, she's going to talk to people!" I think that's most of what makes me so nervous and never wanting to speak...the thought of everyone else's thoughts about my speaking. Like a baby saying it's first words.
